so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
