We won't sleep together?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
