Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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