i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
