I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
