We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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