I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
