i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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