somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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