My hand turned me down
no, he came in my armpit
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
