Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
