piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You can't just leave with hair like that
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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