Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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