anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We don't watch enough power rangers
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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