I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Actions speak louder than pants.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
