i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
