She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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