I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
