some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
