seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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