Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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