Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
