Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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