I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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