***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just fell off a train. Bad.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
