you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
