somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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