called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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