apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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