no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
sarcasm needs its own font
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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