well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Randomize