You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
