You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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