I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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