all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
