Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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