There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
