just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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