1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
