Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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