these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
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i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
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most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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