Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
