Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
