I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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