You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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