i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize