My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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