O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize