Screwed.edu
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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