how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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