I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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