We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I can't turn off my feet"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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