honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
sex in a hospital.. check
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
