I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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