My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
