Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
