how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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