You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
