ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
