No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
